I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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