I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
