it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
People with herpes should wear stickers.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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