Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
