We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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