billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
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