Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
