As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
