walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
i think im in europe. pls send help
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
