im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
