Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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