eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
