u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
