Whod you bang
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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