I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
