Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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