let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize