At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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