Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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