How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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