ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Randomize
