My nipple is on Facebook.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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