Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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