Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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