I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
