Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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