Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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