Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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