he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
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Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
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Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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