you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
