i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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