I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
