end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
