I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
