that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".