If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.