I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!