so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
23 Ladies Who Have Mastered The Art Of Squirting
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.