god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
These 17 People Made Horrible Decisions That Ruined Their Lives
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
