I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
