i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
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I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
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my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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