I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
