my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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