I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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