I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
