Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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