Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Help. Why am I so naked?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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