You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
