What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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