I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
