i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
