so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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