im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize