return my video game
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
