i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
