Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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