I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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