yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize