so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
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This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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