Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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