Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
