The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
