I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
